This week, the Illinois Legislature passed the marriage equality bill. It was an amazing moment and while we are so happy about the fact that we will be legally married in our home state, we have received some very interesting questions from friends and family this week. We thought it might be fun to clarify a few things for y’all:
- We are already married!
No, we are not having another ceremony. Been there, done that. We had a small intimate ceremony in Iowa (where it has been legal for a few years), and then had a beautiful, larger ceremony with friends and family in Chicago. However, if you are interested in purchasing items off of our registry, feel free!
2. No, we don’t need to get married again in Illinois.
For our currently married friends. . .did you need to go to every state in the US to get married? We are married. Period.
3. However, we are still not recognized in most of the US.
While we are ecstatic that Illinois is going to be come the 15th state to support marriage equality, this isn’t over. Every state that currently surrounds us in Southern Illinois doesn’t support us. Heck, you can’t even utter the word “gay” in Tennessee schools. Until we are fully, federally recognized, this fight is far from over.
4. Marriage is a Class Privilege
We fully believe in marriage being a right for all who wish to partake in it. However, we feel that it’s vital to acknowledge that marriage is a privilege of those that can afford it. There are many other issues that affect every queer individual.
Honestly, this whole marriage business is another notch to add to that “class privilege belt”. Once we are afforded legal status in our federal government, we will receive a slew of benefits that single people don’t get to partake in. I call bullshit on that. Why should we get tax relief because we are married? There are a ton of other “perks” and don’t even get me started on if you have kids. That’s a whole ‘nother bucket of crazy that I can’t even begin to get into right now.
5. On that note, marriage equality doesn’t make us equal.
It’s a nice step in the right direction, but honestly, in our opinion, there are some major issues that need to be reconciled. Some queers can be fired for being out on their job. Some members of our community live in fear, ever single flippin’ day because of threats of violence. Oh yeah, and some education systems think we really don’t exist.
The fact that more and more states are legalizing marriage equality does not mean we are suddenly equal and don’t have any more problems in our society. Don’t confuse ‘marriage equality’ with ‘equality’
6. We do exist. Deal with it.
Finally, we want to say that we really do appreciate those friends and family who have supported us from the get-go. For the most part, we have some amazing people in our lives and we get all smooshy when we think about that. However, for those of you who think our marriage is a farce, or not the reality, well you really need to just get over it. We are here. We do exist. Oh yeah, and we are legally married. We’ve heard some crap recently that kids don’t understand us. I call bullshit. Kids understand love. They understand two people who care about one another. They get it. Still don’t believe me? Check out this video. . . the reactions are fantastic.